You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
even my farts smell like vagina
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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