addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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