I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
