He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
