you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?