You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
