Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
