And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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