im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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