No awkward lesbian experiences without me
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
