South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.