After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
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I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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