her vagina looked like bernie madoff
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
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I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
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I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball