our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?