420 ftw
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
