i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down