I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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