I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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