Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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