I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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