People in love make me want to vomit
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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