so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
