Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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