I wanna bring you to show and tell
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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