they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
