So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
