dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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