My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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