How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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