He disabled his match.com account in front of me
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize