Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
