Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize