And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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