You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
