you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
