We got so high we made milksteak
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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