Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize