WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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