IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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