Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
one might say we're banned from that church
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
