looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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