My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
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He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
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Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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