there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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