I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
