My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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