How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
