so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
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Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
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I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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