The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize