if you like me you must not know who I am
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
where are my eyebrows?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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