Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So much rum. So many feels.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Couch. On fire.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
