I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Shame is for Republicans.
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