you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
