in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
