Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
