Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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