I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
