As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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