Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
