It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
