Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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