When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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