I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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