3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
there was a trapeze. enough said
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
