Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I've blown a few things in my day
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
