I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
