I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My hand turned me down
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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