He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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