Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize