Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
