I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
