Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
