There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
