i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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