I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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