She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We got so high we made milksteak
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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