saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
